I want to tell you plainly. You can not continue to pay for a debt that has already been paid off. If you do continue to pay for what has been already paid then it is to your own condemnation.
Stop punishing yourself. Jesus has already been punished for your failure to be perfect before God. Just believe in His work for you, and let you conscience be satisfied. God NOW considers us perfect because Jesus is our payment. All we need to do is accept this fact, and act like is truth. That is called faith in ...